Church bulletins

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CrashDummy
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Church bulletins

#1 Post by CrashDummy » Fri Apr 29, 2011 11:00 pm

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins !
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale . It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'too bad' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church . Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
Last edited by CrashDummy on Sat Apr 30, 2011 10:04 pm, edited 2 times in total.
How to make a small fortune racing ... start with a large one.

Go into a corner with a little less speed and come out faster

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maygoddess
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Re: Church bulletins

#2 Post by maygoddess » Sat Apr 30, 2011 12:06 am

rofl

OMG...I hurt...every one got better and better...hurt from laughing...crying!! Thanks for sharing!

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Bones_BADMC
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Re: Church bulletins

#3 Post by Bones_BADMC » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:15 pm

That was funny!

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CrashDummy
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Re: Church bulletins

#4 Post by CrashDummy » Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:57 pm

It had me laughing out loud.
How to make a small fortune racing ... start with a large one.

Go into a corner with a little less speed and come out faster

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chiconaduc
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Re: Church bulletins

#5 Post by chiconaduc » Mon May 02, 2011 3:54 pm

CrashDummy wrote: --------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
For some reason, this one in particular had me in hysterics.
Wren
Kiss French, eat Italian, ride British!

"Curve: The loveliest distance between two points." -Mae West

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Rollin on 3
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Re: Church bulletins

#6 Post by Rollin on 3 » Tue May 03, 2011 5:34 pm

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------

weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church . Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------


:lol: So funny! hahahahah
Just Rollin
~Anamarie~

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LadyGadget
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Re: Church bulletins

#7 Post by LadyGadget » Sat May 07, 2011 5:06 pm

!!!! :P !!!
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass..
It's about learning to dance in the rain.

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